It's time for...

[overkrill]

Texts From Last Night: Death City Edition!

In case you have never done so, how to play: ☠ Post with your character ☠ Either post with a TFLN or wait for someone to tag you with one ☠ Respond to people's texts or tag them with your own ☠ SHENANIGANS

Comments

this one was in all caps. it called to me.

[redregrets]

YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

[beatdownremix]

there was a might there
if i was actually dead then i woudlnt have been able to call

[redregrets]

OH I SEE.
SO THE MIGHT MAKES IT ALL BETTER.
NEVER MIND THAT IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT AND JOHN'S BEEN TELLING HORROR STORIES ABOUT YOU COLLAPSING FROM LACK OF SLEEP.
NO, EVERYTHING'S FINE, BECAUSE YOU *MIGHT* BE DEAD.

[beatdownremix]

wow you guys will do anything to use that against me
it wasnt anything serious
i was just under the impression that the streetlight was the bottom of an alien death ray and wanted to say my goodbyes just in case
turns out it wasnt so were cool

[redregrets]

HE TOLD ME YOU COULD POTENTIALLY DIE FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION.
EXCUSE ME FOR BEING CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR WELL BEING.
ROSE ALREADY HAS A PROBLEM I DON'T NEED YOU COLLAPSING ON ME.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
HOW INTOXICATED WERE YOU?
AND BETTER YET, ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE A HABIT OF IT?
BECAUSE I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS DECENT IN THIS WORLD THAT I WILL ANNIHILATE ANY ALCOHOLIC SUBSTANCE IN RANGE OF YOUR HIVE IF YOU DON'T KICK THIS HABIT BEFORE IT BECOMES ONE.
ONE LOOPY OBNOXIOUSLY HAPPY HUMAN IS ENOUGH FOR ME, THANKS.

[beatdownremix]

i dont know what to be most shocked about here
but im going to go with the fact that youre taking john seriously on that
come on man im not that stupid
four hours of sleep a night is totally enough to go off of especially when you have coffee

and yeah im completely serious
no im not stupid enough to make a habit out of it
it was kind of an accident in the first place and now ive got a migraine from hell
i woke up on the side of the street wearing clothing thats not mine and high heels
so yeah not gonna happen again anytime soon

[redregrets]

NOT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS AND YOU STOP GETTING ANY SLEEP AT ALL.
WHAT IF THERE'S A FUCKING BATTLE OR JOHN GETS KIDNAPPED AGAIN OR SOMETHING AND YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO SLEEP?
YOU WON'T HAVE THE ENERGY YOU NEED WHEN YOU FUCKING NEED IT AND YOU'LL PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD.

HOW IS CONSUMING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL AN ACCIDENT.
YOU CAN'T DRINK SOMETHING BY MISTAKE.
CAN YOU BE ANY MORE OF AN EMBARRASSMENT?

[beatdownremix]

i wouldnt be stupid enough to push myeslf into exhaustion i know ive got shit to take care of
dont sweat it bro i totally got this

and considering the clothing i woke up in was womens clothing
pretty sure the answer to that second question is no
that about takes the cake there on the embarrassment level

[redregrets]

FAMOUS LAST WORDS ASSHOLE.

I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE LOGISTICS OF HOW YOU ENDED UP IN A FEMALE'S CLOTHING.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT STILL WEARING THEM.
AND WHAT, EXACTLY, ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH THEM?

[scribes]

Sorfy dint mean to worrrry you

[redregrets]

LOOK, IT'S ALRIGHT, I JUST FUCKING PANICKED.
I KIND OF HAVE A HISTORY OF LOSING PEOPLE I'M CLOSE TO, AND EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER ALL THAT WELL
WELL, YOU REMIND ME OF A FRIEND OF MINE.
AND I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO PSIIONIC AND SIGNLESS.
TRY NOT TO SEND ME SHIT LIKE THAT UNLESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY BLEEDING OUT, ALRIGHT?

[scribes]

[Oh no, Karkat :((]

Oh now I f33l just pawfful. Awful.
Stupid puns now is not punnn time.

[Give her a moment to try and stop being wasted and making so many typos]

I understand hon.
All too well.
I wont do it again.
Or try not to Im not really doing a lot of things I mean to right now.

[redregrets]

DON'T FEEL BAD.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING.
I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T SEND ME SOMETHING WORSE.
JUST GET TO YOUR HIVE OR SOMEWHERE SAFE AND SOBER UP, ALRIGHT?
DOES SIGNLESS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?

[scribes]

Yea that's probably for the best.
Good thing I don't have work tomorrow.
He doesn't I'm purrty pretty sure he's busy at the park.

[redregrets]

YEAH, IT REALLY IS.
OKAY, HAVE YOU TOLD *ANYONE* WHERE YOU ARE?
ARE YOU AT LEAST SOMEWHERE SAFE?

[overkrill]

to be fair i think you kinda forgot im already dead sorta

[redregrets]

OKAY, YOU HAVE A POINT, BUT THIS WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
I KIND OF WASN'T THINKING.
BESIDES, EVEN IF YOU'RE DEAD, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S STILL POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DIE AGAIN HERE.

[overkrill]

yeah serket said the same coddamn thing and im like
yeah maybe
but that aint ebber stopped me befoar

[redregrets]

JUST DON'T FREAK ME OUT LIKE THAT AGAIN, ALRIGHT?
MY BLOOD PUSHER NEARLY GAVE OUT AND EVERYTHING.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL KNOWING YOU DIED AND I WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT YOU?
THAT I FAILED AT THE ONE REAL AWESOME DUTY ANYONE'S EVER GIVEN ME?

[overkrill]

awww carpkat thats adorabubble
but nah come on
if i die itll probubbly be because you died first
and im just sending stupid texts to whatebber number i can befoar i bite the big one

[redregrets]

NO, SHUT UP.
I'M JUST BEING A GOOD FRIEND AND A DUTIFUL THRESHECUTIONER HERE, OKAY?
THAT'S ALL.
IT'S NOT ADORABLE IN THE LEAST.
IT'S JUST WHAT ANY DECENT TROLL WOULD DO FOR YOU.

I WOULD HOPE THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THE DECENCY TO PICK A NUMBER THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO SOMEONE WHO WANTS YOU DEAD, OR ELSE THEY MIGHT JUST LAUGH AT WHATEVER YOU WROTE.